Apparently, the answer to that question is…pretty fucking dumb. 21 year old Kelly Pickler, of American Idol rejection fame, might have single handedly proven every point I have ever made about the sad state of Americans today.

Ms. Pickler recently appeared on the Fox show ‘Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?’ and I have to say I have never, ever seen a more uncomfortable situation for a tv host and guest than what transpired in this episode. Did I say uncomfortable? Try down right painful…like masturbating with a cheese grater painful.

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Yeah, thats right. Fuck Billy Ray Cyrus too. If you think there is ever a good reason, big or small, to take semi nude pictures of a 15 year old girl for the express purpose of disseminating them to the public at large….FUCK YOU TOO. From where I’m sitting, taking semi nude pictures or any pictures that in any way induce sexual imagery of a 15 year old is totally reprehensible. Bunch of fuck sticks.

What else is Annie Leibowitz willing to do in the name of “art”? Amazing to me that some guy invokes the name of God and Jesus and he is a “freak”. Watch out for that sicko, but Ms. Leibowitz says, “hey today ‘art’ means getting a 15 yr. old naked in front of the camera”…and she is a ‘genius’.

Funny, because when my neighbor tried something similar sometime ago, they didn’t call him a ‘genius’. Nope they had a few other choice words for him…like ‘molester’, ‘child abuser’, ’sick fucking animal’ and my personal favorite…”fucking dead man’.

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So here I am having witnessed something I swore I’d never see again - another Real World season. last night was the premiere of the 20th season of the perennial train wreck.

I have no idea how or why I ended up watching this show as I’ve managed to avoid the past few years worth of youthful American overindulgence and public stupidity all in the name of making a career out of being a drunk and or a slut. The last season I caught even an episode of was in San Diego (or was it Vegas? or maybe Denver?!?) and it made me long for the days of Judd & Puck (oh the horror!). How far this show has fallen from the initial reality TV experiment of “7 strangers picked to live in a house together” to “7 media hungry idiots looking for a free ride in return for their souls”.

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If you are an internet regular then chances are you’ve either heard of or seen the viciously, vile ‘2 Girls, One Cup‘ video. Most of you know this is simply one of the sickest videos to circulate the internet and the, pardon the expression, butt of many a joke and certainly the topic of many a question.

Why would anyone eat & play with shit? Why would anyone eat & play with someone else’s shit? Why would anyone eat & play with someone else’s shit on video? Alas, the list of possible questions is never ending, but there is a new video out that can shed a little light on these and many other questions.

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Every once in a while you come across something online that gives you pause. Something that is completely disgusting and yet strangely appealing…entrancing even. yesterday was such a day for me. For yesterday I found the girls of MilkGoneWild.com.

I love a good parody and this is a good one, but something about all those bare udders bouncing around that kinda grossed me out. Some how it was strangely, dare I say exciting? The website is an off-shoot of the PetaTV site, and is supposedly the result of a banned Super Bowl commercial. I have absolutely no love for the PETA organization but have to admit this commercial made me chuckle, so it is with mixed feelings that I promote this video series. Don’t get me wrong, I love animals. I own a couple dogs as well as a couple of cats and would never want them or any other animals mis treated in any way, but I can not in good conscience support this group. they are merely a front for a much more sinister agenda and I won’t support it….but I digress.

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I had never heard of them before the commercial, but after seeing this picture I am looking to buy my first pair of JBS underwear. What can I say? Great advertising works….and this is great advertising.

Tell me you haven’t found yourself in exactly this position, guys? Only thing missing from this picture is the Vaseline.

This, of course, makes me wonder what will come next…no pun intended. Seriously, whats left? The only things I can come up with would probably not sell much underwear but man would it get some attention. Like from cops and criminal psychologists.

So what do you guys think she will show up doing next in an ad? Perhaps she will be shown in bed in her boxers, one hand deep in them, while she imagines all the things she will do to some random,younger teen aged girls? Use the comment box to pitch some ideas, I would love to see what you guys all come up with.

Besides sticky fingers.

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So it looks like all the high moral outrage over sex only applies when it won’t sell newspapers because here is the NY Post front page news item from march 14th - “Bad Girl” Ashley Alexandra Dupre, the high-priced call girl known as Kristen aka Eliot Spitzer prostitute. Yes. That’s right. This is the front page, and HUGE pictorial spread, of a prominent NY City “news”paper. War? Housing Crisis? Recession? Presidential Campaign??? Sure, some might consider that important news, but not more so than a young, half naked prostitute! C’mon, look at her! That’s news, Baby!

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One evening last week, my girlfriend and I went to bed and things started to get passionate when suddenly she says, ‘I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.’. I said, ‘WHAT??!! What was that?!’ So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear… ‘You’re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.’ She responded to my puzzled look by saying, ‘Can’t you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?’ Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big brand name department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different, very expensive, outfits. She couldn’t decide which one to take, so I told her we’d just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, ‘Lets get a pair for each outfit.’

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A friend of mine sent me a great video clip of a men’s underwear TV spot. I have no clue if the spot is a “real” commercial or not but it’s got my vote for best underwear ad ever! I think it’s quite humorous how no one wants to see a man naked…not even women. It’s even funnier to me that so many women out there don’t understand this very basic fact.

“Why does it always have to be a woman who gets naked?” “Why is it when a guy gets naked on screen they only show his butt or chest?”

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