If you’re like me you spend countless hours slaving away your life in a cube. In my case I don’t even have the luxury of windows…I work in a closet…literally. Of course this actually saves me from all the annoying habits of my fellow office rats.

Years of cube life has helped compile a list of the more annoying bad office habits. It is always hard to say which ones are truly the most annoying but I’ve thrown together what I think are up there on every ones lists!

Popularity: 8% [?]

Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to convert or leave Italy . There was a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal. He would have a religious debate with the leader of the Jewish community. If the Jews won, they could stay in Italy , if the Pope won, they would
have to leave.

The Jewish people met and picked the aged but wise Rabbi Moishe to represent them in the debate. However, as Moishe spoke no Italian, and the Pope spoke no Yiddish, they all agreed that it would be a “silent” debate.

Popularity: 9% [?]

I love bumper stickers. I would never put one on my own vehicle but I certainly appreciate all the people out there who are willing to be a mobile reading station for my pleasure.

I think bumper stickers, like Tee Shirt slogans, are among the best in the creativity department. There is no telling what piece of mobile wisdom you may find when you hit the road.

There is always the inevitable “My Kid is an honor student at…” sticker which is almost always followed by a “My Kid BEAT UP your Honor Student…” sticker. One of my personal faves was always, “Dial 911 and make a cop come!”. What can I say? I’m a little strange, I admit it.

Popularity: 13% [?]

After escaping from her overly controlling campaign manager for the evening, Hillary Clinton snuck off to visit a local fortune teller of some fame and repute. In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the wizened, old, mystic delivered some very, grave news. “There’s no easy way to say this, so I’ll just be blunt. Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a very violent and horrible death this year just after you lose the election.” Then the soothsayer looked up and locked eyes with Hillary who was visibly shaken at this dire news.

Hillary stared back at the old woman’s lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then finally down at her own shaking hands. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself…but ultimately, she simply had to know.

She looked back up and deep into the fortune teller’s gaze, steadied her voice, and asked the old lady the big question:

“……Will I be acquitted?”

Popularity: 9% [?]

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I went to bed and things started to get passionate when suddenly she says, ‘I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.’. I said, ‘WHAT??!! What was that?!’ So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear… ‘You’re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.’ She responded to my puzzled look by saying, ‘Can’t you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?’ Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big brand name department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different, very expensive, outfits. She couldn’t decide which one to take, so I told her we’d just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, ‘Lets get a pair for each outfit.’

Popularity: 5% [?]